General Journal Entry #1

Today is Friday, July 24th, 2026. The time is 1:05 am

Today, or I suppose now yesterday, was a good day! Much better than most I've been having lately. I am getting a new phone today(July 24th) and I am quite excited about it. My current phone is a very old model and it's kind of on its last leg...my birthday was last friday and my grandmother was gracious enough to get me a new phone, which I am EXTREMELY grateful for. I will be paying my own phone bill, which is also exciting to me, because I am getting older...making that transition into adulthood. It is important that I have my own responsibilities now, to prepare myself for my future.
I've been thinking a lot about my future lately, and it has been a topic that has been causing me stress. I am afraid, I am nervous, and I am unsure. Well, not completely unsure, because I have very clear goals and ambitions that I am very excited to work on achieving, and I am building a solid support system to be able to do so. So why am I so anxious all the time? I feel the weight of getting older already, it's depressing; I don't have very good examples of stable adults around me and sometimes I feel as though I will never live past my family curse of poverty. I feel like there are expectations my immediate family has for me that I will not be able to live up to. I am the eldest child, the first one becoming an adult, and I know I am not the only one afraid for me.
But I need to have hope; without it, I am nothing. I have so many people I need to make proud, and I need to be proud of myself. I have such big dreams...dreams of being a storyboard artist working with indie studios, dreams of publishing a comic based off of my oc universe, and my family has done nothing but tell me how much they believe in me.
My biggest supporters are my boyfriend and my sister, and I owe them the world. They give me the strength to be the best version of myself. It is important to me to show them how well I can do. I want to be a role model for my sister, and I want to grow with my boyfriend as we both explore life together.

I stayed overnight with my grandparents, we watched Project Hail Mary together. I really, really love that movie- I have seen it 3 times now! Seeing it for the first time in theaters was such an incredible experience. That movie makes me think a lot about how I wish I was math and science smart. I have always been terrible at math, and I was a bit better at science in school, but I still wish I could've been better. I'm much more inclined to the artistic, the creative. The one thing I am truly good at is drawing, it's something I've been doing for as long as I can remember, and for a decade now I knew I had to make it my career! Make things for people! Share my creativity to the world...make things that will last much longer than I will. I want to see my name when the credits roll, with the rest of my colleagues, hold the knowledge that our hard work will live on in the hearts and souls of the people who were generous enough to give us a chance to impress. Does anyone else relate to that? I really hope so. The world needs more artists, I think.


Yesterday I also decided to start working on my own neocities site! I have virtually no experience with coding- I had a brief interest in python and got fairly far with that, but I have lost my knowledge now because that has been a few years ago. CSS seems intimidating so far but I think this will be an important hobby for me. It will allow me to make my own portfolio site, which will be VERY important for me to get a good standing in my future career! I also just want my own personal site as well, one where I can post my art, and just in general do things that make me happy. I want to get to a point where I can house my future comic series, as it would be easiest to be able to control where and how I post it, and it would be so cool for me to design my very own site around my ocs. They are my mind-babies, after all; they deserve the best!!
Maybe I will also start a log on here to give updates while I learn, it could help me stay steady with my motivation and give me the ability to make a timeline of my improvement. It would also be awesome to have a little community that could check my stuff out!

Anyway, I've already written enough. I should sleep now...much to do when I wake up!


- Malcolm