Turning 20

Today I turned 20 years old. Usually I have a party, but this year I decided not to and just chill. Fr I hate planning events smmm and idk I get weirdly anxious inviting people to celebrate me - even though I know that's the point of a birthday party.

I don't know exactly how to articulate it, but I felt serene... at peace... happy? But also a tightness in my chest. It's kind of like a nostalgic, coming-of-age feeling.

I think about how in the past, I didn't think I'd make it this far. There were times I genuinely couldn't imagine a good future for myself. Yet here I am.

It's been a tumultuous year, a lot of crashouts and tears. But at least right now... I am happy.

Another year to this strange thing we call life.