Being hyper-independent is hard but being normal is worse

Something people get wrong when they get into relationships with avoidant people is they approach it to 'fix' the person instead of understand them. If you are agreeing to engage with them you have to understand they may never change and offer unconditional support regardless of where the relationship goes if you want to see improvement. You also have to accept that sometimes there won't be something wrong maybe it's just the way they are. They aren't monster, they are quite literally normal people who want a connection just like everyone else. Stop antagonising them and just admit that you aren't bothered to learn more.
Ultimately no one is faultless. It's hard to admit hey I want attention but it's more difficult when people think me saying that means my ailments have been quenched and expect me to reciprocate something. I get so frustrated when I see people shitting on avoidants because it this helpful? You simply cannot shame someone for something that everyone struggles with just because they struggle a little more and it affects the differently. I wish people could more be considerate.