Vent

Reminder that this is a vent (that also includes some subtle anti-theist sentiments) so if you don't want to read something like that, please feel free to click away :)
Quite disappointing that my first blog entry is a vent (￣ω￣;) and a pretty angry one too.

I've been having fantasies about how I would use each object around me as a weapon to use against Mr Two-Faced Narcissist™ (my father) [no offense to anyone diagnosed with npd, all offense is solely to my dad who is incapable of even considering the potential of him being in the wrong.]
I've seen him when he gets extremely angry and drops the facade, and I could definitely see him try unhesitantly in that state to cause physical harm to my mother. When someone can justify anything with their delusions, they can do anything. I hate feeling helpless and powerless, and I hate even more when he acts all nice with me like he didn't do anything wrong, like he didn't threaten to kill, like he didn't hurt the person dearest to me.
He doesn't like it when his actions have consequences, he can get mad all he wants but when we show any amount of even just gloominess he finds it inconveniencing.
As soon as I become financially independant (which I deeply hope will happen), he's never seeing my face again.
He's still somehow convinced that his children would never hate him, that "god" knows he's in the right. God did not say shit please wake up to reality and take accountability for your actions ಠ_ಠ. He couldn't get enough of being just an average religious extremist, he just had to believe he's one of the few chosen people in the world that could understand god's message, that he's special and chosen. I hate him and religion and this sick world.
He isn't mature enough to be given the responsibility of a family.

I hope I can escape, I just have to believe that a better future is waiting for me.
I can't wait to not have to rely on that self-righteous fake asshole.
For now I have to keep pretending, acting all fine around him and just comply.
I'm just scared that he will cut off my education and say some shit like "school won't teach you the true valuable knowledge of god" but he seems stable enough at the moment to realise that's kinda crazy.