first of all i do get along with friends and do not pity me, but i never had something serious, my friends tell me jokes that i look like the sodiac killer, jeffery dahmer, or just calling me a school shooter maniac, i know and i really hope i never hurt anyone, i dont like being in pain or hurting others, but it just dawned on me, maybe it is that because of that insecurity in me and because others see you as what you see yourself (at least thats what i like to think) is that others im kinda uncomfortable and maybe even they see me as a bad person, i hate thinking that, i hope that theyre not right and if they are i hope i change for the better so people dont think about me that way, i know looks arent the only thing that matters, but it really just left a big hole in my stomach, i dont want to change, i will not change for someone else, but i am changing for myself, and i know i have been posting too much about my love life recently but its just that anything in my day to day is very insignificant.
yesterday i saw one of my elderly neighbours struggling with one of her flowerpots and i helped her, i whenever i can i try to help, and i was raised do i wouldnt judge at first glanze but it feels like everyone looks at me and they see someone bad, what do you people say? do yall think im destined to become a murderhobo or i could forge my own path even with the many eyes judging me. im trying my best to be a good person, everyday, im trying, also this is my first extra long post here. and sorry for the boring read.
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