My favorite bit is something that me and my boyfriend do is one of us will say something cool or awesome and then the other person will say "no way" in which the storytelling one will say "yeah way"(but it sounds like Yahweh, like god) and then a one or both of us will say. "Amen"

It's a small, silly bit that always makes me smile. Another bit that we have is that every time we pass by a U-Haul place or see a U-Haul truck I'd punch him(SOFTLY!!) repeatedly until I can't see the U-Haul anymore. I don't know where this joke came from but there's a U-Haul on our drive to University everyday, so I do this like every morning

Saying "ladies first" to cis men

You know how, say, your in an office or whatever, and sometimes there's that moment where small talk hasn't started yet or nothin'?

Well, when that happens, I like to ask "come here often?".
Only gets better if they work there, or if it's say, someone you've invited into your house for the first time.

When im using 2 adjectives I love to repeat the first one again.
for example: "im so stupid and dumb and stupid"

I have a friend named eric, Im going to use this on him

my friends and i (mostly me) have taken to the “what? no bless-yous for Giaocommo?” bit, where whenever we see it fit, we use that phrase-things like “no card for Giaocommo?” in a game n whatnot.

I always love a good

"Guess what?"

"Chicken butt"

big fan of "road works ahead? i sure hope it does!" and its derivatives

i mean my joke with my bff is your mom jokes, like i know it’s not the funniest but this joke has been going on for like 5 years and i still laugh at ts
(˵ ¬ᴗ¬˵)

i cannot think of anything off the top of my head right now!!! BUT I LOOOVE MAKING OKES AND MAKING PEOPLE LAUGHHH (˶ˆᗜˆ˵) i really love dry humorrr

The few times in my life I switch my "r's" with "w's".

Last occurrence was 2 years ago when I came across a "Sweetgween..."

"Yeah, i learned that in the army"
after doing something extremely basic like changing the batteries in a remote or tying your shoelaces

bit i love doing at work is when i mess up a common thing, i say “sorry it’s my first day doing (thing)”very deadpan. like i don’t know a tv show? “oh i’ve never watched tv before” or i take long to pull up something on my phone? “sorry ive never used a phone before.”
another one is if someone makes a noise or incomprehensible (like babies) i nod along and say “ohhhh yeah i see what you mean”

I try to have inside jokes with all my friends but I love really corny jokes in general as well. My favorite one right now is,
"How do you know if a vampire is sick? By how much it's coffin." haha.