kkyomaa, Rhiannon:3 and Ori commented on this post
Haii, i need some advice :,)
Can't talk to any friends about this, and im quite hesitant to post on reddit bc of the majority male demographic over there.
About a week ago, my bf told me he last watched porn +- 1 month into the relationship. However, he knows my stance on commercial internet porn as we were very good friends for about a year before the relationship, and we thoroughly discussed a lot of political and feminist issues in that period. I was politically active in that period aswell and read a lot of books and studies about certain topics. So i had talked about all the issues i had with porn and how frequent consumption of it had negative impact on developing teenagers. In those conversations he always made it seem like he completely shared my views on the matter, chiming in about how normalised it is and talking badly about his friends who do consume it.
So i was rather surprised to find out he himself is/was a frequent consumer; after all those private and long conversations i was convinced that he hadnt watched it since maybe 14-15 yo (we're twenty). I talked about it with him, expressing how i feel like i was being manipulated into believing his stances while in reality he handled in a completely different way. It feels like he tried earning my trust over that year to get into a relationship with me, because he knows how important politics and feminism is to me. Obviously he denied it, saying he loved our friendship and that "i never explicitly said i didnt watch porn tho". He claims he did it because in that period he thought i had dumped him (it was exam season and i was kinda depressed and busy so hadnt replied to his text in a few days) so he did it "to relief himself".
We've together for 8m and i have very few friends and a bad family situation so a breakup would definitely be hard to swallow, but honestly i do consider this cheating :/
Any advice is appreciated, please help a girl out :c. I'm absolutely at a loss for what to do.
Can't talk to any friends about this, and im quite hesitant to post on reddit bc of the majority male demographic over there.
About a week ago, my bf told me he last watched porn +- 1 month into the relationship. However, he knows my stance on commercial internet porn as we were very good friends for about a year before the relationship, and we thoroughly discussed a lot of political and feminist issues in that period. I was politically active in that period aswell and read a lot of books and studies about certain topics. So i had talked about all the issues i had with porn and how frequent consumption of it had negative impact on developing teenagers. In those conversations he always made it seem like he completely shared my views on the matter, chiming in about how normalised it is and talking badly about his friends who do consume it.
So i was rather surprised to find out he himself is/was a frequent consumer; after all those private and long conversations i was convinced that he hadnt watched it since maybe 14-15 yo (we're twenty). I talked about it with him, expressing how i feel like i was being manipulated into believing his stances while in reality he handled in a completely different way. It feels like he tried earning my trust over that year to get into a relationship with me, because he knows how important politics and feminism is to me. Obviously he denied it, saying he loved our friendship and that "i never explicitly said i didnt watch porn tho". He claims he did it because in that period he thought i had dumped him (it was exam season and i was kinda depressed and busy so hadnt replied to his text in a few days) so he did it "to relief himself".
We've together for 8m and i have very few friends and a bad family situation so a breakup would definitely be hard to swallow, but honestly i do consider this cheating :/
Any advice is appreciated, please help a girl out :c. I'm absolutely at a loss for what to do.
