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Alstroemeria's bio
My pronouns are he/they/she and some of my interests are fiction podcasts (huge magnus archives fan), anime, art, gaming and writing.
✦ 彡 welcome to my corner of the web - theme created by LuminaStrike // Clover 彡 ✦
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TW: blood, discussion of death, rot
He tried to dive, once. Tried to follow a sinking carcass as it plunged into the darkness. But he was small. And the further he went, the more the ocean weighed on him, the more it pressed on him from every direction. The more he felt it crushing him, slowly, slowly, until his ears popped. Until clouds of blood, his blood, bloomed from where his ears bled, obscuring his vision. Until the water he pulled through his gills tasted duller and duller and he needed more and more but still he was getting dizzy. Until the weight of the water made it harder to move in any direction but down.
Until he felt a hand on his tail. Floyd, wordlessly gazing at him, imploring him to come back up. Blood was clouding by his ears too, mirroring Jade once again. Floyd’s wide eyes were unblinking and filled with fear, but despite it, he didn’t try to pull Jade back up. Didn’t scold, or demand, or plead, at least not out loud. Just had his hand there, on his tailfin.
That was enough to convince Jade to swim back up.
He didn’t dive again. He never did find out what happened, until he came on land.
There he was able to read from their bound sheafs of dead trees (this was what they called books, up here, a far cry from the carved and stained tablets of the ocean). Those said that dead in the ocean sank and sank until they fed all that they fell to, all the way to the seabed, even bones picked apart by worms.
How ironic that he learned of the depths all the way up here.
The explanation makes sense for the ocean. It’s very fish eat fish down there, even in the relative shallows of his home. Nothing stays dead for long.
But up here on land there is no such rush.
So that's a wrap! Any feedback is greatly appreciated, I want to know how to improve. I feel like in some places its a little hammy, like, overdramatic, but ehhh i can't really put my finger on it or place how to fix it (•̀⤙•́ ).
hey folks remember how I posted on here a lil fragment a while back and said I would work on the whole piece and polish it and flesh It out into a solid narrative?
Yeah lmao I did none of that.
What I did do was write another chunk of it. Tbh like the last piece this was already like 90% done I just polished it a lil.
A couple clarifications - this, like the last piece, is from jade’s pov - jade is a merman who later goes on land, this piece focuses largely on when he was a kid in the ocean. Floyd is his twin brother. Yes, this is fanfic, twisted wonderland fanfic.
And it’ll be 2 parts.
Rot is inevitable.
Jade knows this. He’s very glad to.
Azul doesn’t care for rot. He finds it unpleasant. Disgusting. Unsanitary. Any rot anywhere in his kitchen, his lounge, his dorm, is to be scrubbed out with extreme prejudice. Jade’s room is the only place left untouched.
Floyd, too, does not appreciate it. He finds it sad. The loss of something that could have been enjoyed. Rot to him is a missed opportunity. He couldn’t be further from the truth.
They are both so wrong. Rot is life. Rot is new opportunity.
In the sea, everything that died sank. It all sank deeper than Jade could swim. He would ask some of the other mer, the whale mer, shark mer, tuna mer, swordfish mer, who could swim deeper. They would tell him how all dead sank, which he knew well enough, and how they would be slowly eaten by whatever was below as they sank, but they could not tell him what happened when a carcass reached the bottom. Even they could not swim that deep.
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Alstroemeria, katbug3131 and NaMe commented on this post
But the earth does not mean to cause him this pain, he knows it, for through all the pain the perpetual lightness that keeps him moving is gone and he is free of it. He need not move and breathe and talk and eat and find and live. The weight settles in his bones and he does not need to be at all.
It hurts. But he knows this is the only kindness the ground can give.
And every time it is stolen from him. Somehow adrenaline floods his veins and the lightness is back and it makes him live. It pushes him to struggle and scramble, dirt digging beneath his fingernails as he is willed by everything in him to climb out of the earth’s embrace. He chokes on the soil so graciously filling his lungs, he needs it out, hacks it up and recoils from its bitterness.
He breaks the surface and awakes, still in his bed, smooth clean linen and pillows. His fingernails are clean. His lungs sting a little from panting.
They never did that before, in the ocean.
Alstroemeria, katbug3131 and NaMe commented on this post
also it's gonna be two parts. a lil context, this is from the POV of a merman who has come on land (he currently has a human form).
feedback much apprecieted! ill stop rambling now lmao
He has new dreams now. Ones where he sinks. Where soft grass gives way like water, and the earth takes him in.
The gentle press of the soil is comforting. He is safe here. He is warm here. He is wanted here. And it is so gentle that he does not feel it when it starts to press on his lungs. When his ribs do not have the space to move. When with each breath the dirt trickles in, silt slowly, steadily, filling his lungs.
It’s such a far cry from the air he’s been breathing these past few years, the air that pushes and heaves against his insides demanding to be let out with every inhale. But it’s not like the saltwater of his home either, always churning, rushing over his gills, pulled through him. It’s older than that. Heavier than that. It’s a taste he’s known longer than his whole life. It’s a weight tying him together, filling that hollowness and connecting the solidity of his skin, muscles, bone. He can feel his blood turning to sludge in his arteries, slowing, stilling, as the mud seeps in, and his heart relaxes. All those systems, organs, in constant function, ceaselessly working, haphazardly leaning on each other - it’s all still now. He is a single mass, mass within mass.
It hurts. But the earth does not mean to cause him this pain, he knows it, for through all the pain the perpetual lightness that keeps him moving is gone and he is free of it.
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Renny commented on this post
Was just thinking (thanks to ☆☆☆ ’s post) obvi going to college is a big change and most ppl are living on their own for the first time, which is a big change. And something I think a lot of ppl can easily forget is their physical and mental health amongst all the other hubbub of going to college. So I figured I’d do a quick PSA to let everyone know of some key health stuff u’ll need to remember when going to uni, first year or above!
also, this is gonna be quite a few parts.
Warning, though, much medical talk so I will be discussing illnesses, symptoms, and injuries, though I’ll try not to be graphic - this stuff is important.
First off: admin. Dull, I know, but it is going to make your life so much easier if in an emergency you know where your records are and can easily give them to health staff. So, keep a copy of your health records and keep them up to date. Be aware of your allergies and communicate them - obvious, I assume those of you with your allergies already do this very well, but say in an emergency and you’re unconscious it might be a good idea to have an allergy card in your wallet for instance. If you’re taking medicines with serious side effects or such, this is also a good idea - eg. Often pts on anti-coagulants have some sort of card as they are more prone to bleeding out, and cannot be operated on until those anti-coagulants are neutralised.
Cont. part 2
cont. from part 1. TW discussion of illness and injury.
Similarly, if you have religious beliefs that mean you do not consent to certain procedures you can do the same, or, at least this is how it works in the UK, you can set an advance directive aka an advance decision aka a living will, indicating in the event that you don’t have the capacity to make a medical decision (eg. You’re unconscious), doctor’s will follow that directive to your wishes (eg. DNRs (Do Not Rescuscitate) are a form of advance directive, but they can be used for other things eg. Blood donation). On that note, check what system your country uses for organ donation. In the UK, organ donation is on an opt out system - meaning everyone is assumed to be a donor and you have to fill out some paperwork to opt out of organ donation. Check what system your country uses and carry out the necessary actions depending on if you want to donate your organs or not.
In the UK, to access most care you need to be registered with a GP, so UK students - REGISTER ASAP! A lot of folks, put it off, I did too TOT but trust me when you get sick you will have a very tough time getting help if you’re not registered with a GP. If you end up moving, remember to update your address or change which GP you’re registered with if there’s one that’s closer to your new address. Other countries, IDK how it works, but make sure you can easily contact a doctor when you need to (eg. Have insurance, etc.)
Ok that's all for today I'll talk more tmr abt this!
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Alstroemeria and katbug3131 commented on this post
It's a little long so it'll be 2 parts, hope you like it!
Warning, does contain mentions of death, so take care!
also, constructive criticism is greatly appreciated, also perhaps a title as I don't have one yet.
You always said what a person did in a crisis showed who they truly were. I don’t think you would like the person I am.
I didn’t go to your funeral. I couldn’t. It would have been too dangerous.
You can’t blame me though, I’m just keeping myself safe. You always said you would be the brave one and I would be the clever one and we would balance. You would do the heroics and I would keep us safe.
It’s just me though, now. And no one to balance.
I’m doing better, though. Making better money than the two of us ever did together. It actually looks like we could be out of debt soon. Or just me, I suppose. Rude of you to leave those debts with me.
I always told you the money was better in the tabloids. We could have done so well in the tabloids. I’m doing so well writing for them - I’ve won awards, I’ve been on magazine covers, I’ve written for countless publications, I’m actually famous. People know me, ask for me by name to write for them. They recognize my skill, my talent.
And we could have done so well together. When I talk to the editors, when I ask around for rumours and scandal, I try to be you. I try so hard. It feels forced every time, but it works. People are charmed and spill damn near anything to me, the way they always did for you.
I’m good at it. It comes more naturally nowadays. I can step into a new person like it’s nothing at all.
So you would have been so much better. You would have done so well. Things could have been so much easier. But you never listened to me, and look where it’s gotten you.
Alstroemeria and katbug3131 commented on this post
You had to be a hero. You had to throw yourself head first into all your investigations and drag me along with you. You with all your exposing corruption and bringing justice and pen-is-mightier-than-the-sword crap.
I should’ve been there. I know. I’m sorry.
I should have at least brought your body back home. But you need to understand, I couldn’t, I couldn’t, I swear, he said to leave and so I had to -
What good would it have done, to have us both dead?
I move around a lot these days. Not really different from before - if anything, it’d be easier to stay in one place now than then. But, you know, new stories are in new places. The rumour mill in a single town gets stale pretty quick. Also it just…doesn’t feel right, doesn’t feel safe, staying in one place that long.
Back then, even though we moved around so much, I sometimes felt like we were completely still. Just us two, steady, watching as the universe moved around us.
I suppose that’s youth, isn’t it? Makes you feel bigger than you are. Untouchable. You certainly acted it quite often. I’m older now. Too old to feel anything but how small I am in the universe.
Something I should have realised sooner. Nothing I could do then, nothing I can do now.
I’m sorry.
I’m doing my best but there was never anything I could do. I swear it. There’s nothing to be done. Please don’t blame me for this.
katbug3131, Alstroemeria and harun240 commented on this post
How do you come up with titles for works?
Cus I never can and i always just pick smth thats like related to the piece but im never super happy w my titles, so if anyones got some advice on picking a title that'd be super helpful!
wonkystar, Alstroemeria, Yuffin and 2 other people commented on this post
I go to uni in the UK so I don't rlly kno how the american system works at all TOT but 1. I'm in Med school going into my second year!
2. My semester starts late september, I forget the exact date
3. I'm excited to join more uni societies and for next semester's content, which is neurology!
so hopefully soon enough I'll know a little psych - we did look a little at CBT last year which is pretty neat. I've loved my course so far so im super excited for next year!
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