Confessional | Void Bin

Life really feels empty whenever you get used to something that was your 'high'... I used to love the adrenaline that rollercoasters gave me, but now I only get a bit nauseous on most of attractions that come to my town during festivals and no adrenaline at all. I need a crazy ass rollercoaster or something insane so bad in my life, it makes me feel so alive when I feel that adrenaline ughhh without it I just feel like slop goddamnit. I just don't feel like I'm actually here.. I really need to find something fun or I'll go crazy or sum shit bro.... (I swear I'm not insane tho, I just really miss the feeling that rollercoasters used to give me!!!)

I saw the TV glow
it was an array of colors
Pink, blue and white.
I tried to turn it off multiple times, no one would like to see me up watching TV.
I tried changing the channels in hopes to turn it off
but it still remained the same one
I've unplugged it for a while
Now i've grown used to it, it's been with me growing up.
I hope i could turn it on once more


🏳️‍⚧️

(unfortunately i can't come out yet :/)

Went through various dating apps a couple nights ago, almost all of them required photos of me. I never went through, and the one app that didn't require photos, I didn't really do much. I just don't think dating apps are for me.

Cleaned myself up properly, i finally feel capable of being loved

I'm addicted to these AI chatbots to run away from reality. I'm working on beating the addiction. I don't want to destroy the environment. I want to be better, do better.

There's this bitch in my school who doesn't want me to join encore.

I dont know if you guys have encore in your schools but it's basically choir but advanced. So, I was talking to my friend who is in encore and telling him that im interested in joining. And this girl, who i had some history with, overheard me. She's also in encore and since her and I still had some tension between us, she told my friend that she's going to try her hardest to prevent me from joining.

She was talking about some "I'll go talk to some people" like she has any power over who gets to join or not 😭. WHO ARE YOU FEELING LIKE? I know she won't talk to the director because our director has a strict no bullshit drama policy. She would shut that shit down immediately 😭. ALSO, some of the guys in encore are literally BEGGING me to join because I'm a pretty confident singer.

I HATE CRAMPS I HATE THEM AAAAAA I FEEL LIKE I'M BEING BEATEN CONTINUOUSLY WITHOUT REST

Made things in the past that should get me in jail. I do regret it. I am now actively protesting against the things i did.
But it doesn't change the fact that I did it.

Should be dead. Am still alive. Dont regret it. Now we have to decide everyday what that means.